Sunday, March 21, 2010

there are too many distractions waiting for the perfect time.

as a nurse, you learn quickly that, no matter how thoughtfully you plan out your night, things will inevitably come up and throw your plan off track. it never fails. there are always out of the blue additions to each and every shift and before you know it, twenty things have happened and have had to be done that you had never thought of at the beginning the evening. the best you can do, then, is to expect the unexpected.

i'm not sure why i'm able to adapt to this way of thinking so easily when it comes to my occupation (and genuinely enjoy the challenging surprises), but when it comes to my life in general, expecting the unexpected has taken some time to get used to. i guess because it's so personal - putting your plans down on paper and, more importantly, making a place for them in your heart, only to find that, because of the unexpected, what you expected will never be. and there, and yet again, a piece of you gets lost in the shuffle. the unexpected takes precedence over the expected.

when i tell people these days that i'm done making plans, they laugh in a "yeah, right" kind of way. no one believes me and, in a way, i don't believe myself. but i'm learning to take it one step at a time, to expect the unexpected in life, to know that it is all happening the way it is supposed to. and i'm okay with that now.

"i'm looking for the unexpected. i'm looking for things i've never seen before.."

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