Tuesday, May 4, 2010

so say, what are you waiting for? kiss her, kiss her.

we all complain. i know i've had my moments. but i've always felt, if you're unhappy, do something about it; fix it; change it until you are happy. others have disagreed with me in the past. they tend to ride things out, all the while miserable, waiting to see if it's going to get better. more often than not, their complaining continues and they become more miserable as time goes on. and nothing ever really changes. all so, at the end of the day, they can say they, at least, stuck with it.

so, which is better? stay miserable just for the sake of sticking it out or go with your gut and try and do something that might actually make you happy?

i know there are some out there who have come to me with complaints, and many times my response has been, "so, do something about it." i don't mean to sound uncaring. it's not that at all. in fact, it's the opposite. because i care, i don't want to see this person or that person stuck in something that makes them unhappy and it frustrates me when people knowingly continue doing something that only makes them more and more miserable. most of the time, if and when i say, "do something about it," the response is always, "it's not that easy." my question is - why not? usually, there are hundreds of reasons. money seems to be a common one. but, at the end of the day, if you're miserable, you're miserable, and until you make some kind of change (if you really want to, that is), nothing will ever change.

to me, it's pretty simple. do what makes you happy. my family and friends have always said the same thing - do what you need to do to be happy. end of story. and i feel very blessed to be surrounded by this kind of support and this kind of thinking. i know that that support and thinking are reasons it is so easy for me to just do what makes me happy - because they are there all along the way, unconditionally.

so, what makes it so hard to change - to go after what you really want and what will ultimately lead you to happiness? seriously, i want reasons here, people. ha.

people fall into routines, i think. i also think that there are those among us who, after failed attempt after failed attempt, tend to stick with something because this particular something might come easier to them than other things they have tried in the past and there is less, if any, chance of failing at this particular something. to me, though, just because there's less of a chance at failing, and less of a chance of disappointed, that doesn't necessarily mean there's more of a chance at being happier. in fact, if you're not willing to put yourself out there - in one way or another - there's very little, if any, chance of finding that kind of happiness.

it has been my experience that if something is bad from the beginning, if something doesn't feel right all along, it probably is never going to be right - no matter how much you try and stick with it. and maybe this is just me. but the things that are right seem easier or, even if they're challenging, they seem like they're leading you in the right direction. there's a feeling involved; that gut instinct. and, even though i've gone against my gut at times, giving people and situations the benefit of the doubt and multiple chances, my initial instinct is rarely wrong and, eventually, i find myself on the other end of it - whatever it may be - finding another way to happiness.

i've known people who seem to become almost comfortable in their miserableness. and, frankly, i don't get it. well, i do get it, actually. staying miserable is easier. you're less likely to put yourself out there, to try something new; you're less likely to get hurt or to be disappointed. i get it but i don't get it. why continue doing the same things day in and day out that only seem to contribute more and more to your unhappiness if you know, that with a little effort and change (okay, maybe a lot of effort and change), you could be happy?

i think i felt bad for feeling happy at one point. i think i felt i had to feel bad for a certain amount of time and that it was wrong to feel anything other than sadness in the early stages of the fall-out. one day, i realized, i didn't have to feel bad about it - nothing said i had to - and there was no sense in being miserable if i didn't actually feel miserable. and there is certainly no sense in staying down if you know there are ways to get up.

so, i got up; i made changes; and i'm still making them today ("get right to the heart of matters..")

can you tell this is a bit of a sore subject for me? well, i don't know if i'd call it that. but it's definitely something i hold close at heart (for reasons i choose not to share here). i'll end with this. if you're not happy where you are, if you're not happy doing what you're doing, do something about it. it's scary. it's unpredictable. it's risky. but - i know this now - it's worth it.

commandments: live the life you want; listen to yourself.

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