i like to think, friend, you can read what i'm writing. i like to think you know the thoughts i have on my mind of you, the memories i go back over. i like to think, when i laugh or smile because of something funny i remember you saying, you recognize that laughter and smile and know you're the cause of it. i like to think, when i look up to the sky at times and say hello to you (though it may be silly), you greet me in return. i like to think you know how much you are cared for, admired.. how much you inspire.. how much fun you brought about.. how much you are missed..
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i keep thinking that you're just on vacation or that i just haven't run into you at the gym for a while. i realize at times i'm looking for you, expecting to run into you.
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being at the gym hasn't gotten much easier. there is a very strong, strange feeling that hangs in the air there for me. it's almost as if i can feel your presence there, if that makes any kind of sense. my eyes played a trick on me tuesday evening as i left the gym. i looked in one direction and i could have sworn i saw you. needless to say, that was a strange feeling as well.
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it hits me funny at times, especially late at night, just like tonight. just like now. catching me off guard and coming over me all over again. there's no hint of acceptance or sinking in. it's still as if i don't believe it. at all.
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missing you, friend.
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