and the sweet pang it cost me not to call.

Having Suka bear here this week is a blessing, and I’m so glad to be babysitting her. You loved that pup so much. In fact, I remember you telling me one time that you never needed to get married, as long as you had Suka. We’ll be sure and take good care of her, and don't worry, I’ll be sure and play the monster game with her.

My family think it's so funny she has so many names. Her sneaky ninja skills are confusing the hell out of my dog. She's already stolen his ball, too. She looks so tiny next to him, it's hilarious. We shared some fries at dinner, and now she's cuddled up at my feet, watching tv with me. Reminds me of so many times we would spend with her on the couch (or watching her run around the coffee table, and up and down the hall, like a maniac).

I saw Brandon, Jeff and Joe this afternoon. It was so good seeing them, and laughing at/with Brandon and Jeff again. They were checking out the van they rented, messing with every possible thing they could - the seats, the drawers, the compartments. I can only imagine what a road trip that will be.

It was difficult, to say the least, to see your new place, the music room, your guitars and your drum set, and your room, but I'm glad I got to do that today, to see it all.

Brandon and I stood in the music room for a little while, and he asked me, "Remember how loud he used to play that music? How loud it used to get in the house?" I can't tell you how much I wish we were all down in the basement, listening to you guys play again. Brandon played your guitar some, and we all just sat around, fairly quiet, as they got your pictures off the computer to take to your family.. and your music for the drive.

Your memorial at the gym was tonight, too. So many people showed up, and it was a very nice service. The speaker reminded us that this is only a temporary separation.. I like thinking of it that way, although it is still incredibly hard. You continue to keep bringing people together. So many of your friends are reaching out on Facebook, and now we're friends as well. As Bobby put it in a message I got from him last night, "we're all in this together."

Missing you a lot today/tonight. Having Suka bear here is comforting, I have to say, but I keep thinking you're going to show up at the end of the week to pick her up, or that I'll drop her off and you'll be there. I know, though, in some way, you're always here.. and always will be.