until she sleeps.

i have always had trouble going to sleep when i should, or ending the day before the next day begins. a night owl by nature, i find comfort in the hours that lead into midnight and the moments that follow. gradually winding down, gradually getting to the point where i know once i place my head on my pillow, i will fall asleep soon. it just takes time, though. and i have learned over the years that, if i simply lie down and try to sleep without writing or reading or listening to music (something), i will lie there for many minutes, even hours, trying to find my way to sleep.

i've known people who are able to lie down, close their eyes and magically fall right to sleep. personally, i don't get it. and, while i used to envy this seemingly-magical ability, i now know it's simply not within me to do the same.

i spend a lot of my time during my days thinking. i suppose the night is my time to collect and organize those thoughts into something that means something to me, something that makes sense. and before the next day begins, or at least before the alarm sounds in the morning, i have to get it straight. whatever it may be. there has to be some sort of plan, if not a resolution. and, until i have it in mind, i continue to write, read, fill my ears with music. all the while thinking. and taking the time to do what i know works for me. it may not make sense to some, but it makes sense to me. and you can trust that i've thought it through, i'm thinking it through, with the night owls on my side.