new blog

I have started a new blog and a new adventure.. http://www.altogetherdifferentheart.com/

draw near.

Better late than never, I suppose. Nicaragua. June 2013.

Friends at one of the schools we visited.

Chicken dance.

















In the village of Pascuala, painting nails.

My first look at the Pacific Ocean. Quiet time by the sea.





















Sharing the salvation bracelets, the salvation story and a prayer with new amigas.

My buddy and I talking about the colors of the salvation bracelet.

More friends, taking a break from their school day.

 

 

More dancing. More joy.

 




Singing songs with the kiddos.

Bubbles!

I've never felt the presence of God more than I did during my time in Nicaragua. There were multiple opportunities every single day to serve, to share the word, and to see the true blessings that are all around us. After our time in the villages and schools, after our crazy back-of-the-truck rides, throwing clothes and toys to the locals, and after sharing our God moments for the day, we would have quiet time to journal, to pray, to reflect on the day gone by. God was all around and felt very close that week. He was there, holding my hand through one of the little girls in Laredo; He was speaking through me as I shared His word; He was speaking to me as I thought about my testimony and my walk with Him. I struggle to get that same feeling here, because of the many distractions of each day. I know He's always with me, and He's just as much with me now as He was in Nicaragua. It just feels different. But, every time I look at the pictures from the mission trip, or remember the children and people there, I get that same peaceful feeling again. It's easy to get distracted here, to place more value on a situation or an item than is necessary, to put something else before Him. But, when I think back on Nicaragua, when I look up instead of looking around, I feel what really matters, and I realize how truly blessed I am and always have been. Needless to say, the trip changed me. It forced me out of my comfort zone, to go and talk to strangers about Jesus and salvation in Him, to write and share my testimony for the first time, to give up the usual routines and luxuries of my days. Not only that, but I saw how uplifting the smallest of acts can be, from painting nails, to blowing bubbles, to trying to carry on a conversation in Spanish. And I've come to realize - besides sharing and focusing on Jesus and the everyday Joy that can be found in what matters most (my family, friends and faith), what else is there? My heart aches to go back, and I will certainly be visiting Nicaragua again next year. Until then, I hope to be able to serve and share and really see as He continues to lead me.

 

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, Hebrews 10:22.

commit.

The Nicaragua preparations continue.  After a group meeting about the trip, we were given the infamous black bag to fill with 50 pounds worth goodies to give away in the villages.  Thanks to the Dollar Tree, and a quick run-through of my closet, I was able to load up the black bag with clothes, stuffed animals, coloring books and crayons, nail polish and hair bows, bubbles, stickers, and flip flops.  I cannot wait to deliver these!

"Commit your works to the Lord and your thoughts will be established" Proverbs 16:3

my shield.

In not-so-fun preparation news... I headed to the doc this week to get the necessary vaccinations and prescriptions for the trip.  The doc informed me that you can visit the CDC website, click on the country you're visiting, and see which vaccines and meds are recommended for that area.  I thought that was a pretty neat trick.  After a tetanus shot, a Hepatitis A vaccine, and prescriptions for malaria and typhoid fever, I am all set to go!

"The Lord is my strength and my shield.  My heart trusted in Him and I am helped" Psalm 28:7

 

straight paths.

Thanks to a new friend, I've gotten the chance to learn more about Google, more about the capabilities of my phone, and how beneficially the two can work together.  We

visited Managua, Nicaragua via Google Earth and checked out the area... the volcanoes, the lakes, the city itself.  It fascinates me how detailed it gets and how you can zoom right in... down to the city streets and neighborhoods!  I have to say, it was pretty neat traveling to Managua before even getting on a plane!

 

"In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:6

rejoice.

It's been a busy month, planning and preparing for Nicaragua.

 

Casey and I have been practicing our Spanish. And, although we remembered more than we thought we would, we still have a ways to go. We've learned there will be translators in Nicaragua who will be with us every step of the way. But Casey and I still wanted to brush up on our Spanish.

 

Thankfully, I had my brother to turn to, to ask about Spanish words and verbs and phrases that would come in handy out in the villages. Because of his hard work, and his many conjugations, I was then able to create a stack o' index cards, Spanish words on one side, English on the other. And the Espanol practice began! 

 

We also ordered 4iana (For I Am Not Ashamed) bands (see below) to help tell others about Jesus in five simple steps. The bands came with small foldable pamphlets that go into more detail about salvation, in English and Spanish. Casey and I have bands of our own to wear and plan to give them out to the people of Nicaragua as we share God's word.

 

I have trusted in Your mercy. My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. Psalm 13:5

 

joy ahead.

I have always wanted to do mission work.  In a little over a month, I will get the chance to travel to Nicaragua on a mission trip with my friend, Casey.  Early on, Casey and I agreed that this wasn't just an ordinary trip; it was an opportunity to serve others and spread the word.  Knowing that, we decided we had to start preparing and taking the steps necessary to get us ready for Nicaragua. 

We've started discussing and journaling Bible verses we would like to have memorized, verses we'd like to share throughout the villages, and verses we plan to use to back-up our testimonies.  We've started considering our own testimonies and how we can best share our growth in our relationships with God.  We've started planning out what we'd like to say about Jesus, his birth, his life, his death and his resurrection.    And, most importantly, we've been praying together for guidance and to be his hands and feet.  

Casey and I both agree - it feels as if something big is going to happen in Nicaragua.  It's just a feeling we both have, and I hope it's right.  What I do know for sure is this - we have the chance to serve others through Jesus and I cannot wait to get started.  

I'll be blogging about our journey before we leave, as we continue to prepare, and once we get back.  I hope you'll follow and learn something alongside us.

Be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead.  1 Peter 1:6 

simple happiness.

My other late-night weekend craft extravaganza? Switching up the frames in my room. For the last year or so, the frames have looked like this (and I’ve loved them) –

I thought, however, it was time for (another) change. I used a very simple yellow scrapbook paper from the craft store to brighten up the four square frames, and my room. I guess I’m on a yellow kick.

Then, I placed black patterned scrapbook paper in two larger frames.

    Then, I sat back and smiled.

Altogether, I’m very happy with the finished creations.

paint positive.

I did a little late-night painting this weekend. First, I decided to paint my plain white lampshade yellow. I was thinking it would come out a paler shade of yellow (and when it is not lit up, it is pale yellow), but the surprise brighter yellow is growing on me. The striated effect was an accident, by the way. I painted and repainted, hoping for a smoother look. When I had finished painting and plugged the lamp in, that is when I discovered the streaky kind of appearance. It’s also growing on me.

The second painting experiment involved four glass bottles I had bought at the craft store about a year ago. For the last year, I had fake blue flowers in the bottles, but it was time for a change. On Pinterest, I saw a “pin” for painting vases – basically pouring paint into the container and turning it a certain way in order to get the paint spread out evenly. So, I gave it a shot. I poured yellow paint into the four small bottles and turned them so they would, eventually, be covered on the inside with paint. I ran out of paint on the last one, so the fourth bottle can never be turned to the side or the back – only the front inside is actually painted. Anyhow. Even though this little project made a pretty sizeable mess (thanks to my impatience when it comes to crafting – at times, I decided to speed the process along by shoving a paintbrush into the bottles and trying to paint the insides myself. That only coated the paintbrush in yellow, not to mention my hands), I enjoyed the painting (I enjoyed playing around with the paint mess, too, I will admit). Now, I am on the lookout for more (small) painting missions.

It makes me happy just thinking about it.

craft magic.

“What’s going on, guys?” Stinker asked as the tiny beads spilled all over the floor.

[A very good question indeed, especially when it comes to craft experiments]

“Craft disaster!” I exclaimed, silently cursing Pinterest for its so-called “anyone-can-do-this!” crafts… and silently being thankful that Stinker is not the type of two-year old to eat small things off the floor.

[The beginning of our craft tryout this weekend]

I found the craft “recipe” online I wanted to try – using melted Perler beads to create a bowl. So, Stacy, Stinker and I gave it a shot. First, we put a single layer of the beads down into a microwaveable bowl and tried microwaving the suckers until they would stick together. No such luck. We just ended up with a really, really hot bowl (and another "what's going on, guys?" from Stinker). So, we positioned the Perler beads in an oven-safe bowl (after watching about half of them roll off the kitchen table), then placed the bowl into the oven to let the beads begin to melt.

Then, the magic began (craft magic is so cool, in a completely nerdy way). The Perler beads melted together and took on the shape of the bowl, slowly crawling up the sides. And once they had finished “baking,” and I finally got them peeled off the container (I was a little afraid for a minute I had ruined one of Stacy's bowls), we ended up with this…

Stinker and I agreed, not only was it "so cool," the bowl could be a bowl, but it could also very well be a princess crown or even a colorful hat (see the crown below). At one point later on, it also doubled as a “hot tub” for her Little People. In any case, and even with its rocky beginning, I would say the project turned out a lot of happiness.

ressert.

I spent the weekend in Richmond with my good friends, Stacy and Chris, and their two little ones - Stinker and Little Bit. Whenever Stacy visits, or I visit her, we always bake dessert (or ressert, as Stinker likes to call it). Once, we made Sesame Street cookies and tried our hand at decorating with an icing bag.

During another visit, we made Smores brownies. This go ‘round, we baked cupcakes, topped with green icing and flower petal-shaped marshmallows. Turns out, cutting a giant marshmallow into four slices gives you four shapes that resemble flower petals...

We dipped the petals into blue and yellow food coloring, and used one of the cut marshmallows as a sponge to “paint” on the color. Stinker helped, and once we had all sufficiently dyed our hands green and yellow and blue, and placed the marshmallows onto the cupcakes, we ended up with these lovely creations…

Every time we bake and decorate, Stacy and I say, "We should open a bakery!" Who knows, maybe we will some day... after we've had more practice with the icing bag and cupcake design... and after we find an electric mixer. For now, though, it's nice to have the special baking memories with such a special friend.

Crafty hands at work beneath the sound of a toddler's talk and old friends' laughter... and happiness around a receiving kitchen table.

stencil in.

So, Katie and I decided to do a little painting this week – small flower pots. I went with a crimson color for mine, and she chose yellow. I had been excited to try out my new stencils – stick-on stencils that make the painting a lot easier – and used yellow paint to add the swirly-flowery design. Katie opted for polka dots, using a pencil eraser to paint blue dots onto her flower pot.

We both agreed – the process is more satisfying than the end product. Crafting is fun, especially when you are right in the middle of it. But, oftentimes, I notice something about my craft that was not exactly planned. Katie shared the same opinion. Maybe the paint doesn’t dry exactly the color you thought it would. Or you smear paint with the stencil. Maybe your paint runs down the side of your canvas. Or you smudge the piece with your fingertips. Inevitably, something happens, something unplanned, or something you thought you could avoid altogether. And, in the end, you’re left with something that resembles what you had in mind but does not match up exactly with the picture in your head.

I guess the thing to remember is – enjoy the painting. In those moments, whatever it is can still be whatever it might be, whatever you think it can. Your blue hydrangea-colored paint dries a blue hydrangea color. Your stenciling is clean. The paint stays in its place. And your piece is smudge-free. All of these ideas in your mind are happening in the moment. They are what you think they are and what you make of them. And if the end product doesn’t come out exactly as you once thought, at least you enjoyed the time in between (the happiness there), when it could have been anything, when it could have been exactly as you hoped it would be.

jiggle giggles.

For the fourth, I decided to try making a festive treat. Red, white and blue Jello pudding pops.

I made strawberry Jello, berry blue Jello and vanilla pudding. Then, I cut the strawberry and berry blue Jello into small squares and mixed them in to the pudding. I spooned the mixture into Dixie cups, placed a popsicle stick into the center of each and froze the treats. They came out pretty tasty. I just wish they looked a little more like the recipe’s picture.

When I mixed the blue Jello with the pudding, it turned the pudding a shade of green. I might re-do this recipe one day and see if I can avoid the green-age (see below). I might also try other popsicles and use chocolate pudding or vanilla pudding and fruit instead.

As it turns out, Jello leads to happiness. It’s fun to make, it’s fun to watch jiggle (seriously, the jiggle made me giggle). It was fun making a new, fat-free dessert, and popsicles for the first time. Sweets and smiles...

in bloom.

I took on another craft this past week. Making a wreath. Okay, I didn’t really make the wreath. I decorated it. I put flowers on it. But still, it’s a changed wreath.

I found the rustic wreath at the craft store (possibly my new favorite store), along with a variety of flowers, including (and especially) hydrangeas, in greens and blues and white and yellow ribbon. I passed up the clip-on butterflies and a giant multi-colored bow, and I was proud of my restraint. When it comes to crafts and me, I always add more and more. I’m trying to cut back.

Anyhow. I cut the stems of the flowers and took my time finding just the right arrangement. I played with the yellow ribbon for a long time, tying bows and winding the ribbon, then decided to get rid of it. Here is what I came up with.

Having something pretty to look at brings happiness. But the happiness started well before the project was complete. It started when the idea came to me, to make something, to pick out the pieces and put something together. It started when I began cutting the stems, positioning the flowers, tying the ribbon. It started with a simple hands-on craft and a handful of flowers waiting to bloom.

hands at work.

There’s a certain kind of comfort in doing something hands-on. Crafting. Cooking. Gardening. And so, I decided to dedicate this month to hands-on activities.

It started off with a trip to the craft store. And, after purchasing several canvas boards, acrylic paint, a stencil, and a small paint roller (handiest discovery yet), along with three wooden words (believe, create, dream), I set up my craft corner and got to work. Yes, I actually set up a craft area for the afternoon.

First, I placed the stencil onto the canvases, and used the small paint roller to paint a robin’s egg blue onto two of the canvases, and a light yellow on the third. I haven’t had much luck with stencils in the past, but this one seemed to work out pretty well. I think the trick is… keep it simple. Instead of trying to stencil a whole wall of a bedroom.

Next, I painted the wooden words, and, because I just can’t leave anything alone, I decided to give the words an antique-look and lightly sponged paint around the edges of the wooden words.

I super-glued the words onto the canvases and... there you have it. Three wall hangings made from scratch.

I don’t paint a lot, but when I do, I find I enjoy it. A lot. There’s a concentration required yet it’s relaxed. It’s one of the few times when my mind is clear and still, and when the moment is full of only composed breathing. Of a quiet smile that reveals happiness in the hands-on.

hear i am.

There are certain moments and times of days, times of years, that can only be filled with certain songs and certain bands. Rainy, cloudy days seem to call out for a song from the Counting Crows, playing in the car, with raindrops singing right along. The Civil Wars are good for that as well. I find Ryan Adams' music, especially "Two," "Oh My Sweet Carolina" and (most especially) "Come Pick Me Up" to be good late-at-night, headphones on, music. I like listening to Ron Pope's music riding around in the car, playing "Virginia" and "Headlights on the Highway," and pretending to be traveling somewhere. The same kind of going somewhere feeling happens when I listen to Ray LaMontagne. Dave Matthews has always been my go-to when I can't decide what to listen to, and so I guess there is something to be said for that. Rob Thomas reminds me of summer, and Norah Jones is best played in the fall. I don't know why. But it's true.

And then, there are those special songs and bands that fill the moment with memory and remembering. With familiarity. Matchbox 20, for example. I've listened to their songs for years, over and over, and they never get old, they just linger. "3 AM" and "If You're Gone," especially, are always there in a peaceful, haunting kind of way. Train has had a similar impact over the years, with songs like "Mississippi" and "Getaway" making a permament mark somewhere inside. Ryan Adams reminds me of the beach, of the road trip, "Let It Ride," in particular. John Mayer's songs have always been good for moments of hesitation, knowing I could find a sincere warmth there. Kings of Leon will forever remind me of driving to work with the lights of DC behind me. With the nighttime slowly but surely creeping in. That's a feeling that will never be shaken, but nevertheless, the memory is there. Taylor Swift's songs, on the other hand, remind me of coming home, and Sara Bareilles' of getting it back, when the lights went out over the big city.

Listening to.. many different songs tonight. Thank goodness for iPods. "Funny The Way It Is," Dave Matthews Band. "Mockingbird" by Rob Thomas. Sara Bareilles' "King Of Anything."

I think I could write about music forever. It's certainly been the easiest theme, so far, for me to write about. And I know it's because it's such a big part of me. Always has been. It's something that emphasizes the moment, that secures the feeling, good or bad. It's something that has been playing right beside me as life decided to sing along.

boogie shoes.

Listening to… “Ours” by Taylor Swift.

Sometimes, I dance in my room at night. Usually, I put the headphones on and find a catchy song and dance. Little embarrassing to admit, but there you go.

Dance, like music, has also always been in my life. I’ve heard I was tapping my feet and dancing around to music from the very beginning (I’ve seen it, too, in our old home movies, dancing on the stairs to “You Can’t Hurry Love”). I quickly earned the nickname Boogie. And from the time I was three until I graduated high school, I took dance lessons and taught dance my last two years of school. Dance has remained a part of my life since, thanks to countless ballets and dance performances and music videos and dance shows (I think I could watch dance all day, especially ballet). And we can’t forget the classic kitchen dances...

Music has forever moved me to dance.

And, every now and then, I just have to dance. It’s always a bit silly, random, but there I am, listening to the music and boogie-ing around.

Florence and the Machine has a couple songs in particular that are fun to dance to, including “Shake it Out.” Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger”? Also a good dance-around-your-room song. I remember the first time I heard Hanson’s “Give a Little,” and I literally jumped up and started dancing. It’s impossible not to when it comes to that song. But, no matter the song, I move, I smile and I’m happy.

Music has always stirred in me in one way or another. It’s a feeling, a rush, it’s moving. But, just as often as it moves me emotionally, music moves me.

And then, all she wants to do is dance.

flowers follow.

Of all the Counting Crows’ lyrics that have stuck with me throughout the years, there’s one phrase in particular, from a little song called “High Life,” that has attached itself to me in particular.

A sea of flowers won’t bloom without the rain.

I’ve written about it before. I think I even said at one point that if I ever got a tattoo, it would be a tattoo of those nine words. And, in a lot of ways, that statement could kind of define this blog altogether… and the last four years or so.

Goodness knows it hasn’t all be easy. But, without fail, everything “bad” has been followed by generous, genuine good that, without the “bad,” would simply not have happened. Sure, other good would have followed, but not this good. Not the good I know, love and treasure. The good I wouldn’t change for anything. The good that was worth the “bad.”

There is a peaceful feeling that has settled in. A familiar sense of quiet and calm rising out. I can’t say I am happy every second of every day, but I can say there is an underlying, ever-constant feeling of happiness within. The trustworthy feeling that everything will be all right. Plain and simple. The understanding that, even with the rain, flowers follow.

Listening to… The Wallflowers, “One Headlight.”

in my car.

One of my very favorite things to do is drive around listening to music. I know it seems simple, but I enjoy it and always have. I’ve always thought that music sounds best in a car (or with headphones on). It’s as if you can hear it better, really hear it. I like to turn the volume up especially loud, to the point the side-mirrors are shaking a bit and I can feel the sound in my heart.

I find it particularly fun to listen to new music in the car. New music in itself excites me, but it’s especially exciting to purchase a new cd and rush to the car to listen to it, and listen to it loudly. And then, I begin my usual new-music-in-the-car-routine, listening to each song briefly, and finding those three or four songs on the album that almost instantly become my favorites – the songs I end up listening to about twenty times in a row (literally). There’s something about listening to one of those songs in a car – it’s a certain feeling, a very special kind of happiness.

 
The newest album I picked up was John Mayer’s Born and Raised, and right away, I found my favorites, driving along. “Something Like Olivia” got to me first. It reminds me a lot of Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason,” another song I’ve always loved. “A Face to Call Home” also hit me from the very beginning, with its lyrics and memorable sound. And there I was, driving around and tapping my hands and feet to the songs.

I can’t remember all the times I’ve jumped in the car, eager to turn the music on and just drive. It may seem simple – it’s anything but.  To me, it’s happiness ringing in.

beautiful words.

Lyrics have always had a special place in my heart. And my happiness. I read them like poetry. I read into them for deeper meaning. I keep lists of them, even a journal of lyrics. To me, lyrics are nearly-equally important as the music itself. Inspiring, understanding, moving, and some lyrics, just plain beautiful.

Inspiring.. encouraging.. a pick-me-up, a mental note
Get right to the heart of matters
It's the heart that matters more

If you've never stared off into the distance, then your life is a shame

I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Understanding.. meant for the moment, the moment's feeling
A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving
Now the days go by so fast

Moving.. chill bumps and all
I wanted to see you walking backwards
And get the sensation of you coming home
I wanted to see you walking away from me
Without the sensation of you leaving me alone

Carrie's down in her basement all toe shoes and twinned
With the girl in the mirror who spins when she spins
From where you think you will end up to the state that you're in
Your reflection approaches and recedes again

Beautiful words
I walk along these hillsides
In the summer 'neath the sunshine
I am feathered by the moonlight
Falling down on me

On certain Sundays in November
When the weather bothers me
I empty drawers of other summers
Where my shadows used to be
She is standing by the water
As her smile begins to curl
In this or any other summer
She is something altogether different
Never just an ordinary girl

Step out the front door like a ghost
Into the fog where no one notices
The contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you
The angels get a better view
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right

All of these lyrics are from the Counting Crows (listening to.. "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby"). Though I have been a lyrics-enthusiast for many years, their lyrics have always been the ones I come back to again and again, and read over and over. They call me back. And whether they move me personally, or just move me because of their beauty, their lyrics are the lyrics that move me, stick with me, like no other. Happiness, in the lines of a song..